Terry is an energetic, seventeen-year-old dad. He is a senior at the local high school, and an excellent goalkeeper. Today he comes to the office with his girlfriend, Camille, and Jack, their three-week-old son.
Terry holds his son like a football as he places Jack enthusiastically on the exam table for his check-up. Camille laughs as Terry starts to poke at his son. First, he pokes at his feet, then his knees, then his stomach, then his nose. Jack starts to breathe a bit faster and his feet look jerky. His eyes spring wide open, his eyebrows rise, and his shoulders go up toward his ears. "I'm ready for you, Dad!" his body seems to say.
Terry steps back from the exam table as his girlfriend reaches over to undress Jack for his exam. As she moves toward the baby, Jack‘s eyes start to look drowsy and his body relaxes. His movements slow down. Soon his breathing becomes quiet and regular.
THE SCIENCE: Parents have unique approaches to baby care
Though all individual parents and babies are different, Jack demonstrates what research now shows: Fathers and mothers often approach babies differently. Even fathers with childcare experience often approach a baby with big, enthusiastic movements. Their very presence can stimulate a newborn, as if to get baby ready for the big world out there.
Typically, a mother's approach is quieter. It tends to calm, rather than to stimulate, a baby.
Babies benefit from both approaches as they grow and learn, suggests psychologist Kyle Pruett. They may learn to regulate their internal stimulation from one parent and learn to deal with external excitement from another.
Surprisingly, mothers and fathers may experience some conflict as each learns to love their baby in the best way they can.
An “Ah-Ha” Moment: How the HUG information helps this mother
The nurse commends BOTH parents for their kind and enthusiastic care of Jack. She shares the research that mothers and fathers can have different approaches to baby care. Mother admits that she has noticed these difference.“But, Jack’s a luck boy”, mother says, “to have both of us working so hard to be the good parents we want to be!”